The first goal of therapeutic disclosure is to provide a safe setting for the partner in recovery to share their acting out history and take full responsibility for their actions. By engaging in full disclosure, the cycle of self-destructive behaviors fueled by shame and secrecy can be disrupted. Our trauma-informed approach assists the betrayed partner in receiving the truth they need to regain their sense of reality.

The second goal is to give the betrayed partner the platform to share how they have been affected by their partner’s acting out behavior. By sharing an emotional impact letter, your experience can be fully heard and attended to. The partner in recovery responds to the emotional impact letter by sharing their emotional restitution letter. This letter aims to validate all of the harm they caused while in active addiction.

During a therapeutic disclosure intensive, couples will meet with a therapist for several hours each day individually and as a couple. The therapists will support the couple in completing the documents required for disclosure while providing the environment for vulnerability and transparency to be experienced. Unlike a disclosure outside of a therapeutic environment, the entire process is trauma-informed to ensure that maximum healing can be experienced through each step of the process. I partner with a local CSAT therapist who has experience with disclosures to ensure both parties have the support they need during the process.

Therapeutic disclosure intensives can offer a number of benefits, including:

-Allowing the couple to begin the process of healing, repairing, and rebuilding trust in the relationship

-Providing and receiving an exhaustive history of acting out behaviors in a therapeutic setting

-The betrayed partner can gain a sense of reality after a season of gaslighting and manipulation

I believe that sex addiction is a vulnerability disorder. Disclosure can be the first step to living a life of complete honesty that frees the partner in recovery from being captive to the shame that has fueled their addiction.

Research also supports that disclosure is a helpful step for couples in recovery. A research study done by Schneider, Corley and Irons evaluated the benefits of disclosure and found that when looking back at the disclosure process, 96% of partners in recovery and 93% of betrayed partners believed that it was the right course of action for their relationship.

I generally recommend at least 90 days of sobriety before beginning the disclosure process. After 90 days of sobriety, memory recall is more reliable—which of course is paramount in writing the disclosure letter. Disclosure is not the appropriate step for couples moving towards divorce. The disclosure process is only for those committed to healing their relationship.

Other indicators of readiness for the partner in recovery include:

-A commitment to recovery which includes:

-Attending 12-Step meetings

-Completing step work with a sponsor

-Engaging with a recovery community

-Regular individual therapy with a CSAT therapist

-A commitment to integrity and honesty

-90 days of sobriety

-Ability to validate and be present with partner’s experience

-Ability to manage distress through coping skills

Indicators of readiness for the betrayed partner include:

-Established relationship with a trauma-informed therapist (preferably a CSAT)

-Support through a recovery community and trusted friends and family

-Ability to manage distress through coping skills

Typically, a therapeutic disclosure intensive occurs over a three-day period. However, the length of time may vary depending on the specific needs of the couple.